Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Ancient Chinese Secret, eh?

Over the past month or so I have been toying with the idea of trying a more holistic approach to healing my GI problems. No western medicine can figure out what's going on with me for sure yet. I have a surgeon who wants to cut me open; a GI doctor saying not to cut me open; and another doctor who has no clue what is causing my pain. It's been very frustrating, stressful, painful and exhausting. I had heard from several people that they had tried acupuncture for various reasons and loved it. As they talked, I had this picture in my mind, of a little chinese man in a room, with incense burning, and soft meditational music playing in the background. (Why I pictured a chinese man, I have no idea, but that's what popped in my head when I pictured myself being healed by some ancient chinese secret).

So I found a place right down the street from where we live; a natural healing and wellness center. I made the appointment and off I went. When I entered the building, it had a serene natural feel to it. A lot of natural stone, water flowing, books on spirituality, aromatherapy oils for sale, etc.  Sounds like my kind of place. I had my hopes set high, and patiently waited for my chinese man to come and heal me. I was eventually called back into a rather bright room, where a petite, and rather chipper, woman about the same age I am came bouncing in. Where's the chinese healer I thought?  She introduced herself to me and was very polite. She said whe was a chiropractor. A chiropractor? There was no music playing, no incense burning, no ambiance whatsoever. I tried to keep an open mind. After all, I really wanted to be healed- but I was secretly hoping my chinese man would show up.

She had me lie back and tapped five needles into my stomach and then twisted them into certain positions. I'm not going to lie, it felt like five bee stings, but then subsided. She left the room for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes of no music in a bright, and somewhat cold, room. The only sound I could hear was the staff talking about their personal lives from from the front lobby. Not very relaxing. She then came back and inserted seven needles into my back. More bee stings. Another fifteen minutes went by, when she came back into the room and said she was going to try and "work out my pain". Work out my pain? What is she talking about? Is this the ancient chinese secret? She began pushing on my upper stomach. Who needs surgery? I thought. She's just going to push so hard, my gall bladder or my stomach will come shooting through my belly button! After an intense five to ten minutes I was done. I was glad I was done. I had had enough. She said she thought I needed two more visits in order to be completely "healed". Two more $50 treatments. I, however, felt no different, other than now I was sore from her pushing down on my stomach. Blah. So much for the ancient chinese secret I was hoping for. Maybe I need to travel to China for that.

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